Bye.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Where's Buggy?

For those of you, who, for some wretched reason, cannot foresee the general idea of this post, here is the family background of it.

All my life, I have lived in a family of four; mom, sister, grandma, (myself). Couldn't ask for a better family. However one of us has forced the rest of us into weird, unnatural habbits that general humans should not possess. For example, my sister watches television out of the corner of her eyes with her head turned away at a 35 degree angle (even when she is alone). If asked a question without my full attention I automatically respond no. Though some aspects of this post might sound harsh towards an elderly, it is completely nescessary. Keep in mind that we all love this woman and always will. Cheers Donna.

It has been in these last six years that a solid, daily pattern was discovered. Everyday after school, at whatever time I got home, this woman would be standing in the kitchen ready for my arrival with the same questions. Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Always the same. She wore a concerned look of anticipation like the information I contained would shape the future and her important questions would unlock these secrets. The questions:

"What do you want for dinner?"
"Where are all your friends?"
"Do they want something to eat?"

-Ten minutes later...

"Do you want something to eat now?"
"What about something to drink?"
"Im going to start fixing dinner, what do you want?"
"Did you eat enough lunch today?"

So before you spew out the classic lines, "You are so mean", "you are so lucky", "I wish I had a grandma like that." etc.. There are some things I promise you overlooked. I still don't know how to use an oven, constant frustration. True, these are only six questions but each one of these follows a struture similiar to this:

Keep in mind that we all love this woman and always will.

Donna: "What do you want for dinner?"
Me: "Idk, anything."
Donna: "well pick something soon so I can cook it."
Me: "Just make anything, I'm not that hungry."
Donna: "What?"
Me: "It doesn't matter, make anything"
Donna: "What? The tv's on I can't hear you." (it was always on)
Me: "ANYTHING, DOESN'T MATTER"
Donna: "You don't have to yell."

-Pause-

Donna: "When do you want to eat?"
Me: "Whenever it's ready."
Donna: "What?"
Me: "In a bit."
Donna: "You have to speak louder."
Me: "IN A LITTLE WHILE."
Donna: "You could say it a little nicer."

If there is a way to scream as loud as you can in a polite fashion... I have yet to discover it. More time would pass. More conversations like this would pass. All starting the same. All ending the same. Everyday. For years.

Then my favorite question would always, always, be asked two or three times a day. Here is how this conversation generally goes.

Donna: "Where's Buggy? (My cat. Not her cat. My cat.)
Me: "I don't know"
Donna: "Well look for himmm"
Me: "Why, he's fine."
Donna: "What if he is outside?"
Me: "You're right, he could be walking around and stuff." (I often resorted to sarcasm after a certain point)
Donna: "What?
Me: "Nothing"
Donna: "I can't hear you."
Me: "NOTHING."
Donna: "I think you should find him before it gets too dark."
Me: "Oh, he is right here on my bed." (He wasn't)
Donna: "Okay, good." (Then she tries to call him downstairs for a while. "BUGGY, BUGGIERA, BUGGY...")
Me: "He doesn't want to go down stairs..." (she always spoke for the cat, why can't I?)

Keep in mind that we all love this woman and always will.

After countless conversations like this, my friends caught on quickly and started asking me "Where's Buggy?" at random intervals throughout the day. Recently however, since none of us have been at my house for several months, I had almost forgotten about this ongoing dissapearing cat situation in which I was always appointed chief detective on the case. Then, of course, when I least expect it... I get a christmas card from my Grandma (I know this because there is a post-it note on the card that tells me).

It reads:
Dear Glenn,

Love and merry Christmas. We had our first snowfall today. It was all white outside when I got up this morning, almost eight inches and cold, must be good at the ski slope. Buggy went out the door and just stood there and looked all around trying to decide whether he wanted to go out. I'm sure Buggy misses you and wonders where you are. I really miss you but I'm so happy you like being there and got such a good job and everything worked out for you and all the boys. Your mom said you like the fish. How do my tacos compare to theirs? Wonder if they would like my meat balls. Wish I could send you some. etc..



I cannot possibly try to explain how excited I am that my cat not only misses me, but that the search is finally over! At least for an hour or so..

So for those of you wondering, Buggy is alright and he went outside on November 27th, 2007. Probably sometime in the morning around nine or ten in the morning. He looked around a bit and became confused.. Thus silencing the question echoing in my thoughts every few hours since I started on this trip. Sleep at last.

Though it seems like our relationship is fragile and frustrating, I think we both had some fun in argueing. Sometimes they even ended in both of us not being able to keep straight faces while argueing about what kind of cookies Buggy liked, who was a better driver, and why we always get weird milk.

Keep in mind that we all love this woman and always will.

Love ya G-ma. :)

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think anyone will ever know the exact location of Buggy. The cat is like a modern day
Waldo/Carmen Sandiego.

Anonymous said...

No kidding?

My dad's a mailman, which entitles him the power of wearing shorts every day of the year and knowing virtually everybody in town.
He came home a couple weeks ago and asked me, "You don't happen to know that Generaux kid who went to Spain and is now teaching kids English?"
I said, "Uh, yeah, I guess. We both worked on the newspaper. I also feel a little uncomfortable at how much you seem to know about him."
"Oh, his grandma has told me all about him. Numerous times, actually--" There was a long moment of silence, as if he was deep in thought, and then suddenly--"Who the fuck is Buggy?"
To which I had no way of responding.

Anyway, this post has cleared up a major mystery in my household and I believe we all will sleep a little easier tonight.

Deadhorse said...

Where's Buggy?

MamaKelly said...

or..."kelly, make sure you get your video this time." or "have i shown you my old yearbook yet? let me go get it." or "those boys!" or "dont tell glenn i told you this because he would get angry but..." hahaha i miss that lady. who else will ever perpetually ask me if i want a cookie?

MamaKelly said...

and sam, you know whats going on when i say, "of course you two are fine, but its just that adam, we shouldnt let him in here..."

Anonymous said...

"Yeah, He's a trouble maker." Weren't we sent in there to get the hookah?

I wasn't the last to go to glenn's was I? I went to glenn's to harvest some bone marrow from the garage over thanks giving.

I accidentally typed theymightbecomingback.blogspot.com when coming to the blog.

Anonymous said...

hahaha oh my that was great glenn. I miss the good times we had at your house.

brendan said...

I feel sorry for any mailman who gets caught in that woman´s endless torrent of stories.

You fucking wish Sam.

Anonymous said...

Damn, that was an uber burn sam. Brendan, I am dissapointed with your retort.

Clayton Wang said...

This post made my mouth water for a Buggy kabob. But honestly...where the fuck is buggy? By the way Glenn, I'm thinking about getting you a stray cat named Samuel from the pound as a late Christmas present so that when you come back(whether it be a month from now or 5 years from now) you will have a grandma that asks you "Where are Buggy and Samuel?" Double Trouble. LOVES

Glenn said...

Alex, has your father ever mentioned brownies? I think my grandma baked brownies for a mail man once.

Glenn said...

For a little side adventure, I'll send 5 euros (about $7) to whoever captures the best picture of my grandma in her natural habitat.

Hint: Safeway.

Clayton Wang said...

im pretty sure joel has already won that little side adventure game. check his myspace. legendary photo

Joel said...

I definitely win the contest...

Autry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Autry said...

God those days were good. Love you boys.

Unknown said...

I don't think you were the last one at Glenn's place Sam. Joel, Jake, Ashley, Autry and I went there this last weekend to rescue the hookah. The hookah that still had old shisha in the bowl..

Glenn said...

I hope the hookah has been building deadly gaseous toxins in my absents.

Anonymous said...

The internet seems to think tobacco smoke is deadly. Then again, I did search "Tobacco smoke deadly". I think my search might be a bit biased though.

Unknown said...

Glenn please tell me that isn't how you actually think "absence" is spelled.

brendan said...

Thank you Danny, I didn't want to have to do that myself.

Anonymous said...

Glenn, the shoes are just like the ones that are falling apart.....Just mess them up like you did the last ones, I sent the pens. Hey, A big female Moose was eating the branches off the trees in the front yard at the Main St. house 3 days ago. The Tenants told me yesterday. When you get back to go to the Penny arcadde thing in Seeattle, you can stay at Main st. while you are here, with all the guys too! Then you can do that wierd "Magic Card" stuff. Buggy has gotten more grey hairs, he learned a new trick, too! I'll draw a photo of what he can do now and send it. the Hippie mom

Anonymous said...

Glenn, the shoes are just like the ones that are falling apart.....Just mess them up like you did the last ones, I sent the pens. Hey, A big female Moose was eating the branches off the trees in the front yard at the Main St. house 3 days ago. The Tenants told me yesterday. When you get back to go to the Penny arcadde thing in Seeattle, you can stay at Main st. while you are here, with all the guys too! Then you can do that wierd "Magic Card" stuff. Buggy has gotten more grey hairs, he learned a new trick, too! I'll draw a photo of what he can do now and send it. the Hippie mom