Bye.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

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As you know, for over a month and half we have been whoring out our* apartment to any stranger without cost or question.whoring Request after request since the originals* left have been answered in complete carelessness of whether there was room or not for them. South Americans, Belgiums, Canadians*, Australia (no dingo, I don't need your help with couch surfing), and even appearances from our home shores.

First assault from the States: I don't know how much you might have been filled in by the return of the originals so I will make this part quick. Three Americans from salt lake city asked to stay with me. I say yes. They stay. I told them they have a job teaching English if they wanted. They wanted. Emily, Derrick, and MARK HORAN* are now my current room mates. They are pretty entertaining.


Second assault: Girl from New York. Asks to stay. I say yes. She stays. She leaves. Bye.

Gangs of New York

It was two days after the apartment was finally clear of couch surfers and it was back to just myself and the other three English slaves when I receive a request from Jimmy (simply Jimmy).
Jimmy writes:

Hey,

I am all new to this...I just heard about it while
traveling in Ireland. But me and my two best friends
from home (NY) planned this trip to Madrid...and we
were going to stay with my friend max's buddy from AUP
(american university at paris) but her grandmother just
passed away and things are too hectic at her house to
accommodate us. We are going to be traveling with two
other girls, one from NYC and one from Boston who go to
AUP with my friend Max. We are all between the ages of
18 and 20.

I didn't know till right now that there are people
willing to accommodate 5 people...we are really not
looking for anything more than a place to leave our
stuff and a floor to sleep on (maybe a pillow or two).
A shower would be over the top luxury for us.

As of right now we have a hostel booked for Wed and
Thurs. but they are all sold out for the weekend for
anything under 30 euro. We are leaving for Barcelona
on Sunday if we can find a place to stay for the
weekend.

Come out with us and the drinks are on us...

Thanks for your time and consideration...if you could
only put us up for the weekend that would still be
sweet. Just let me know as soon as possible and at
the least we could exchange numbers.

I write:

hey sure, no problem. (sends address)

The five of them stumble into the apartment at around 2:00 am due to a delayed plane. Tired from working all day I just wanted to sleep however I felt obligated to entertain these strangers for at least a little while. MARK HORAN awakes from us talking, crawls out of bed and jumps into the conversation. I tell MARK HORAN to shut the **** up. They appreciate the crude humor and admit that our apartment building at night resembles an abandoned factory where people are murdered and processed into food.. or shitty beer. I confirm that it is and tell them not to sleep with their faces exposed or I will cut them off and wear them to work. They laughed and looked at each other for some sort of proof that I was not serious. Eventually people started looking for places to sleep. Three people tried sharing one of the single beds, failed, so two slept on the floor. Oh well. Free floor right? **** 'em. I try going to bed myself and one of them starts snoring louder than Joel used to. His name was Dan I think. He had just arrived in Paris that day, met up with his friends, and flew to Madrid. First time in Europe. Myself and my room mates leave for work at 7:45 roughly and Dan wakes up with a surprise and no one there to blame.



Saturday night I went to Madrid to meet up with these guys and it was hilarious. Tapas bars, racing up subway stairs, talking to Spanish people, running around buildings getting chased by security, met random English girls, went clubbing, got separated, and just when I decided to head home, who did I run into sitting in a random metro station waiting for it to open? While waiting for the metro, a man who had clearly been heavily drinking shows up and starts chanting and waving his arms until we could do nothing but clap for whatever important information he had to offer us.






See also..
Our* Sorry guys, still working on your deposits. Until then, enjoy the apartment you have in Madrid. Don Luis is a two faced snake.

Originals* I can no longer say my American friends because that confuses new couch surfers of whether I'm talking about the crew or the Mormons.

Canadians* They were incredible. Being from Montreal, their English was not as good as you would expect when you hear the name Canada. However when I said I was going to blow up the ham leg they fully understood and left me a small can of gasoline as a going away present. Oh yeah.. and I am going to blow up the ham leg.

MARK HORAN* I would like to include the asterisk details of MARK HORAN in this post but unfortunately it won't fit. Look forward to it though.

10 comments:

Clayton Wang said...

haha amazing stories. you should have actually cut the kid's face off though. and then worn it while teaching your little spanish children. sounds like you;re having fun. glad to hear. adios babe. P.S. I texted your sister on accident last night and called her a whore. honest yet really serious mistake

brendan said...

Explain why security was in pursuit of you.

Unknown said...
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Anonymous said...

Hey, Glenn, Where are you? The cell ph isn't ringing through, figure I would call adam, Celeste Have fun!!!!

Anonymous said...

What's going on bitchs? im in Salt like city working as a movie extra and up @ snowbird. you should come hangout if your back in the states

Anonymous said...

hey gyus! membre me? we used out in 8th grade befor i moved to seattle and got an educaton but im back in sanpoint now its
U guys have the sweetest blog i heard about it from some of my cowurkers from tacobell their great you guys should cum buy sometime and ill give you a bunch of free food

Clayton Wang said...

glenn...the other boys may be back...BUT...i still want to hear about how things are going! update!

Anonymous said...

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Clayton Wang said...

you're an ass glenn

Anonymous said...

Word. total gay